Today I Was a Crybaby

First, at Hostage Square, viewing the grassroots art installations that are responding to and raising awareness of the hostage crisis. One day after October 7, the Tel Aviv Museum of Art had already offered the square in front of the museum to be used for this purpose, understanding that grassroots art is art as worthy of display as the collections inside the museum. The first thing we saw on entering the square was a big display with a count-down of the days, hours, minutes and seconds that the hostages have been in captivity. I lost it then and there.

This news ticker in Hostage Square, Tel Aviv, keeps tabs on the number of days, hours, minutes, and seconds since the hostages were taken into captivity

You may have already seen the most well-documented installation on social media—the long, beautifully set Shabbat table with wine glasses and wine, china, and seats for each of the hostages, including some highchairs. Today that table looks quite different. Half of it has signs on the plates saying “How good it is that you came home,” representing those who have been released. The other half, representing those still in captivity, has ugly brown tablecloths, water bottles filled with brown unsanitary water, tin containers filled with a small portion of unidentifiable and unappetizing food, stools of concrete blocks or upside-down buckets rather than chairs, and blacked-out anonymous faces of the hostages rather than the ubiquitous posters seen elsewhere that have photographs with names and ages of the hostages. 

The front end of the table, welcoming the freed hostages home

This part of the table represents those still in captivity

The square is filled with many other installations, including a long, dark tunnel with sound effects of bombs outside that tried to give the sensation of being a hostage alone in the tunnels. You could go crazy there. There are also tents for families, survivors, or communities to tell their stories of loss and survival.  Each installation is powerful and painful in its own way, a truly overwhelming experience.

the opening to the tunnel

these blindfolded chess pieces are the captives

one of a series of photographs with hourglasses, indicating that time is running out

The tent says “Nova”– the music festival–the woman lying there was clearly raped.

(I’m only posting a few of the photos; let me know if you’d like me to send others to you.)

Second, after hearing Lee Siegel, brother of hostage Keith Siegel, speak. Keith’s wife Aviva has been released, but Keith is still in captivity. Lee spoke about the Hostage and Missing Families Forum (“The Forum”), which offers families holistic support and professional assistance and advances the ongoing efforts through all channels, locally, regionally and globally, to bring the hostages and the missing back home to their loved ones. Aviva has become a spokeswoman in her own right, reporting on the sexual violence that occurs every day in the tunnels. (You can google her name to get some of the coverage, including a feature on the PBS News Hour.)

Lee Siegel, brother of hostage Keith Siegel

Third, after a presentation at the Sagol Center for Hyperbaric Medicine and Research at Shamir Medical Center in Tel Aviv in which two doctors spoke of their new groundbreaking work in treating PTSD with hyperbaric chambers. After impressing us with the science, they told us how shocked they were by the denial around the world about the Hamas atrocities on October 7. They, therefore, are planning to partner specifically with Columbia University, a locus of some of the anti-Israel/anti-Semitic/October 7th denial, to do joint research. As Dr. Shai Efrati described his shock at the world’s indifference, I again “lost it,” now being triggered not by the Israeli reality of feeling alone and friendless in the world, but by being reminded of my own fear and loneliness back in the U.S. and the specter of anti-Semitism that lurks there.

(the hyperbaric chamber)

The treatment they offer costs $10,000 per patient. Our busload of rabbis raised over $10,000 immediately to sponsor treatment for one civilian traumatized by the the events of October 7, and many of my rabbinic colleagues will be returning to their congregations to raise more money in order to offer this same treatment to others.

Other highlights of the day included:

  1. A presentation from an Israeli human rights organization called Gisha. Founded in 2005, Gisha’s goal is to protect the freedom of movement of Palestinians, especially Gaza residents. Gisha promotes rights guaranteed by international and Israeli law. Their work is quite impressive, as were the two presenters, both from Britain— one who grew up in the Reform movement (Maayan), and the other (Rebecca) who grew up Orthodox. Rebecca would regularly visit relatives on the West Bank, not understanding for a very long time that she was entering occupied territories. Her personal journey to understanding and then advocating for the rights of Palestinians was very moving. You can learn more at www.gisha.org
  2. Upon leaving Tel Aviv, we got a red alert on our phones about rockets in the area and pulled off the road. The protocol would have been to get out of the bus and lay down on the side of the road covering our heads, but we were just on the outskirts of the danger area and were ultimately able to proceed. Knowing where safe rooms/shelters are in every building has become routine wherever we go, but if you are in a moving vehicle, you have to pull over and get out. I downloaded two apps on my phone to give warnings about rockets, and I have been getting alerts every day, several times a day, about rockets somewhere. (And by the way, I am here in Israel without insurance because no one will insure visitors to Israel these days.)
  3. When we got to Haifa, we met with Anna Kislanski, the CEO of the Israel Movement of Reform and Progressive Judaism (IMPJ), who filled us in about the remarkable front-line work of our Reform rabbinic colleagues here in Israel and the importance of the spiritual message they are bringing to Israel at this critical time, including leading a havdalah ceremony every Saturday night both in Tel Aviv and Jerusalem before the anti-government demonstrations; the officiation at military funerals that had until now only been the domain of Orthodox military chaplains; the mobilization to volunteer after October 7 and the  growing capacity for shared society and interfaith dialogue work.
  4. This rabbis’ trip includes two other rabbis who started rabbinical school with me in 1989-99 for our year in Jerusalem. Tonight we met with others who were with us in Israel that year, 2 of whom now live in Israel. It was a lovely reunion.

    Evan, Faith Joy, Estelle and I visit with Joel and Lori who now live in Israel. (Their son and son-in-law are both doing their reserve duty in Gaza.)

7 thoughts on “Today I Was a Crybaby

  1. Pam. Pam. Pam!
    I am so glad you are sharing time with such yummy people with whom you can share this horrifically intense experience.
    Love. Love. Love!

  2. I am adding my tears to this River of Sadness. You are doing important work by witnessing and sharing these tragedies and courageous responses to them. With gratitude for your caring heart and wisdom, Pam.

    elaine

  3. Dearest Pam … what a day.

    Are you okay with my sharing your blog site with select people who would benefit from experiencing your eloquent observations and stories? Some in my Hineini community would take in your words, and perhaps be moved to action by them.

    Even though I still connect to our monthly Shabbat service by Zoom, still reluctant to be in a crowd that is singing and dancing, I’d like to offer to our leaders, Daniel Sheff & Hanna Sherman, to read from some of your blogs during the service. Would you be okay with that? Do you know Daniel and Hanna?

    And what about sharing your site for those who may want to sign up?

    So many images dancing in your head, Pam.

    Sending love, elaine

  4. Thank you for sharing your experiences. My heart is heavy. I feel for those still captives and for all those lost.

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